Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
