I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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