You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
