i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Every concussion has its silver lining
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
