Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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