No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
