so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
