He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
