OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
