I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
