Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
