he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
