yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
