But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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