I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
