is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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