it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
