I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
