trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
