remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
