Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
