Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
