Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
