Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
