I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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