babies were throwing up all over the place
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
