So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
