i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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