I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
