Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I would fuck him just for his dog
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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