i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
