Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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