In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize