In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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