I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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