i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
