she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
