I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
