he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
