please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
