sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
