Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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