Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
