New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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