Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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