I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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