u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
