i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
home. puking in laundry basket.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
