...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
