I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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