she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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