Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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