guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
