his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
