so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
