She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
