Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
false alarm, still single
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
